Psalm 139:13-16
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
Health. This has been on my heart for a while now. Sometimes I think it is far too easy to take simple (or not so simple) things for granted. Good health is one of these things. When I was pregnant with RaeLynn I constantly prayed for a healthy baby. I am so thankful the Lord blessed us with a happy, healthy baby girl. That being said, there was a time during the pregnancy where RaeLynn's health came into question. It wasn't something I chose to talk to many people about at the time, though. We went for our anatomy ultrasound at about 21 weeks. Justin couldn't go because of work, so my mom went with me. We already knew we were having a little girl, so I was just excited to see our little one again. After the ultrasound Dr. Frederick came in and told us that RaeLynn was right on track and looked great. Then she told us there was a small abnormality with her heart. This is when my heart jumped into my throat. I think I held my breath the whole time she explained that there was a tiny spot on RaeLynn's heart called a EIF, or Echnogenic Intracardial Focus. She continued to explain that by itself, it probably meant nothing and that everything else looked normal. This spot on her heart would in no way affect it working properly but she said that it can sometimes be a marker for Downs Syndrome. Dr. Frederick reassured me continuously that the likelihood of this was extremely slim and basically told me in as many ways possible that our baby was totally normal. She told me we could do some bloodwork that we had initially declined to get a better idea of our risks of her having Downs and that I had a few days to decide. This was a lot to take in. Even though I had been told several times in the appointment that RaeLynn was probably perfectly normal, I just couldn't stop replaying the words Downs Syndrome in my mind. Either way I knew my baby was perfect. I knew that God created her the way she was meant to be. I was scared though. I worried constantly for about 2 weeks. Justin and I chose not to do the bloodwork. We knew that regardless of what happened we would love our little girl just the same. I requested a second ultrasound at my next appointment and the EIF was still there. I knew it would be but I just wanted to make sure everything else still looked normal; and it did. I decided at that point to just give it to God. It didn't matter to me if my baby had Downs Syndrome. All that mattered was that she was okay. Of course she is here now and we know she didn't have any issues. I just say all of this because even though our scare was so teeny tiny in the whole realm of things that other parents go through, for just a moment in time we didn't know if our baby would be healthy. There are so many parents that do face the challenges of raising children with special needs. I admire their strength. I cannot imagine the daily struggles they face. Today (and every day) I want to take a moment to thank the Lord above that we have been so very blessed. Every single child is a blessing and is perfectly made. I hope I never take our healthy little girl for granted.
